You panic at the thought of being hugged by an amusement park mascot.
You know that loud leaf blowers may be signs of midlife crisis in men who can't afford Harleys.
You wonder what's more plentiful, sand pebbles on all the world's beaches, or ways to spell the name Caitlin.
You recognize that the only one excited when you come home from work is the dog.
You recognize that inflatable lawn decorations marks the end of America as a great nation.
You know that the only way forward is by knowing where you've been, which is the tongue-in-cheek approach to life Mark Morelli writes about in this collection featuring "Giftmas," the essay that all civilized people agree ended the war on Christmas. Mark Morelli wrote the column "Rearview" for Halfsquare.com.
From the author's introduction:
This is my first column for Halfsquare, the online magazine aimed at people who are not quite as cool as they used to be – if they ever were – but are not yet square – whatever that is...the only thing I know is that I’m at the age where I’ve covered a lot of miles in this journey, got a lot of dents. Nevertheless, knock on wood, there's plenty of road ahead.
I'm not talking about looking back to see if anybody's gaining on me. I already know that somebody twenty years younger is nipping on my tail, gaining and passing me every day.
This column is about downshifting. Looking into the rear view mirror for perspective on what the hell happened so maybe I can take a wild guess about what the hell's next. -Mark Morelli
Other books by Mark Morelli
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