"We had a discussion in class today about what the Catholic church disapproves of," said my eleven-year-old daughter.
Oh brother, I thought. That must've been a filibuster-length classroom conversation. The church's list of no-no's is longer than a Vanilla Fudge drum solo.
She went on. The teacher asked, "What does the Catholic church disapprove of?"
A boy raised his hand. "Gay marriage," he said.
The teacher nodded, as if to say "check," and was ready to move on. My daughter raised her hand.
"Why?" she asked.
Boys uniformly groaned. "It's gross!" they said.
"It's private," She said. "It's their business, not yours."
"Do you want to have sex with a woman?" one of the boys asked her.
"That's not ME," she answered.
The teacher, who didn't supply an answer, wanted to move on. Why waste time on this one exhibit. We have an entire Museum of Taboos to cover!
"It's just gross," said another kid.
I asked if we should prohibit big fat people from marrying, too, then.
I don't get upset by unimaginative teachers. Their mediocrity isn't evil. Besides, teachers put up with so much nonsense that even the bad ones deserve some credit. They put up with an amalgamation of everything that every family eats, watches on television, and yells about every day. Then twenty-five of them pour it into the vat of one classroom in a day and age when children wisecrack constantly like they are sitcom characters. Even the worst teacher deserves a medal.
But when it comes to morality, I have to set the record straight (as I, and every parent, should.) So I told my daughter she was right to question it as long as it was respectful.
Then I explained to her that the problem with religion today is that too many people see it as a prohibitive list rather than a guide to living. It is easier to find a list of no-no’s then wag your finger at the transgressors than it is to enact what is the most important statement uttered in every Catholic mass:
"I confess to almighty God, and to you my brothers and sisters that I have sinned through my own faults, in my thoughts and in my words, in what I have done and in what I have failed to do."
What have I failed to do?
See how the words change from condemning others to introspection . . . to wondering what I could be contributing to make the world this much closer to perfect...but am not.
In answering finding out what I have failed to do, one can then create the ultimate to-do list that makes us far too busy to preoccupied and humble to condemn, and much to busy immersed in benevolent deeds, bringing to live the words of Saint Francis of Assisi: "Preach the gospel at all times. If necessary, use words."
And if absolutely necessary, words that heal.
Go to PAH home Go to PAH! archives
