What Cher Has In Common with Bill Clinton
Cher sells tickets by calling every performance a part of her "farewell tour."
It works because sometimes the only way you can get someone's attention is by saying goodbye. (At the 1988 Democratic convention, Arkansas governor Bill Clinton introduced presidential nominee Michael Dukakis. Clinton's speech was so longwinded that his biggest applause line was, "in conclusion.")
Cher's farewell tour began five years ago. Imagine crossing the country, then hitting the same cities on your way back. "Hello, St. Louis! It's been 14 months since I last said goodbye forever!"
Goodbye = Good Buy
The farewell tour is simply a six-truck, 24-roadie, 9-piece band, 7-costume-change version of the old advertising tagline, “Hurry! Order before midnight!” (And, when you think of Cher herself: "Hurry! Supplies won’t last!”)
Everything seems more exciting when it's almost done. My favorite TV show is finale of the series run. I love closing night at the theater, where the actors cry and the director tosses out compliments like Tootsie Rolls from parade float. The final verse of any song is the best.
And while Monday is sickeningly depressing, and Friday is the most electric, it is Sunday morning that is the most relaxing and joyous. As for Sunday what is the Easter mass but a celebration of Christ’s own farewell, and like so many farewell tours, a positioning for a big, two-thousand year comeback! (“Just when you thought he was entombed forever in the sepulcher…!”)
The farewell tour is the going-out-of-business sale. It appeals to that same sense of urgency that draws people to window to watch fire trucks zoom by. Sinatra did it in 1972. My hunch is that he retired just so he could use the title "Old Blue Eyes Is Back" two years later for his comeback.
Why Should Cher Have All the Fun?
Everybody should tap into this "farewell tour" technique.
Take the unpopular little kid. Instead of a birthday party that falls flat, throw the “6th Birthday Party & Farewell Tour.” They'll be fighting over the last party hat.
Or take someone who has exhausted her address book trying to get friends to what she calls a Mary Kay party. Wrong! Call it a "Farewell Party" because who doesn't enjoy a big hug and a good cry? Then she pitches the Mary Kay cosmetics that don't streak and she explains it's a "goodbye to . . . runny mascara" party. That's closing the deal!
Rock bands with no recognition will certainly create a fan base if they double they promote their first CD with their farewell tour.
Finally, Dick Cheney said the insurgency in Iraq is in its “last throes.” Maybe he’s right. Like Cher, they are just beginning their endless goodbye.
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